Took my tablet before bed. Went into the kitchen to fill up my hot water bottle, and was punished for the crime of stirring my mother’s malted milk drink by an impressive display of oral pyrotechnics over the kitchen sink.
Particular mention should be made of my mother, who, mid-pyrotechnics, said “I don’t think you’re being as sick as I was when I was expecting your sister.” because clearly that’s what matters most to me when I’m heaving up over the sink- how much sicker SHE was than me.
2 points I wished to raise when I was indisposed-
1. Mother dear, you weren’t on anti-emetics 3 times a day AND STILL BEING SICK
2. You didn’t require a hospital stay with 3 litres of fluid and salts to rehydrate you because you hadn’t held anything down for 24 hours
And I just thought of a third
3. You could still function and work as normal, rather than feeling like Bambi who just had a fight with a car and came off worse.
Yes. Of course you were sicker. My mistake.
Next time I’ll throw up in your new shoes.