The CrapAtPregnancy Confessional

It’s come to my gradual attention over the past couple of years, that a lot of what society believes about children, childbirth and pregnancy is actually a lot of rose-tinted time-altered rumour and supposition.

I thought I would start off a confessional, if anyone would like to join in, feel free to comment.

1. The day I had my son was NOT the best day of my life. Momentous, yes, but best? Hell no, not by a long shot. I can’t say that having no sleep in 2 nights, being drugged up to the eyeballs with epidural, and then the final insult of having my perineum sliced open and put back together was my favourite day. No way. Wedding day? Yes. All you have to do is look at me in the post birth photos to see this. I am practically comatose, and I honestly look how I felt.

2. You don’t always “bloom” or “glow” in pregnancy. And you know what? There’s no shame in it. I don’t. It’s hard to even think about looking good when you’re entering a room and wondering how close the nearest sink is, or whether anyone would notice if you threw up into the waste paper bin. And it’s been 5 days since you washed your hair because tipping your head in any direction makes you sick. And you’re too weak to stand for a shower.

3. You can make as many plans as you like. You can map out your new baby’s every move. You can read every book there is on every subject to do with everything in the world… Just be prepared (like I wasn’t) to mentally rip up all of those plans and throw them in the bin the second you clap eyes on the little thing.

What’s your confession?

Peace be with you.

Keep breathing.

TRP. x

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About therubbishpregno

30-something Mum to a toddler. I am pregnant, and I am rubbish at it. My body doesn't seem to be able to cope with daily life as well as pregnancy, so I have had to put my life on hold while I grow another person...
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9 Responses to The CrapAtPregnancy Confessional

  1. Lisa says:

    Brilliant blog! Everyones telling me am blooming when in reality I have a face like a pizza and none of my clothes, maternity or otherwise, fit properly. I am clumsy and bruised from where I keep falling over/knocking into things. Am not particularly enjoying it to be honest.

    Sickness has gone now though mind – hope you’re feeling better soon x

  2. Rachael says:

    Mine is that you won’t instantly adore your baby. I had a hell of a labour & birth with Calum and he was a demanding & cross child from day 1. I felt like id been hit by a train.

    I can honestly say I hated him in the early days & during one memorable night, seriously considered calling my, then childless but desperate for a baby, friends and offering him to them!

    It took time for love to grow, as the newborn fug ebbed & the nicer sides of his personality came out.

    I felt like a failure & the worst mummy in the world for not loving my son the way I thought I should.

    its more normal than everyone lets on tho!

  3. lady stow says:

    I wanted to hug the consultant when he said I’d have to have an emergency section last time. He told me I shouldn’t feel like I’d failed – that was the furthest thing from my mind – I was relieved not to have to push him out! I am pleased I am being allowed to have an elective section this time as I have no desire to have a natural birth and mess up my lady bits.

    Being pregnant is pretty horrific if you suffer from sickness throughout. I am 37 weeks and was sick yesterday – have not had a single day that I haven’t felt sick and it pissed me off

  4. Kat says:

    Good grief, where to start?! I think my blog is pretty much my testimony to just how hideously dreadful I am at pretty much everything related to pregnancy/childbirth/parenting … I am however VERY good at gin drinking, so I figure that balances it all out 😉

  5. Chrissy says:

    I had an awful pregnancy for both of my children. I was 17 when I had my first and had no idea what to expect. I put on 6 stone, I couldn’t use my spine and was bordering on pre natal psychosis. Towards the end of my pregnancy with my first I actually seriously thought it would be better to die than continue and end up treating my son badly.

    I had a 13 hour labour after being 15 days over due and induced. I ran out of pain medication and he got stuck. I had no feelings towards him for the first week. I went through the motions, was in dire need of a blood transfusion and I still wanted to sneak off and die. On the 7th day of being in hospital I did have a bonding moment and it then changed I could kiss and cuddle him and I was no longer worried I would neglect or hurt him. I was crippled with depression though and for the first few months I couldn’t imagine me making it to his first birthday. I went to the Drs, got medicated and things got better.

    With my second the labour was so much easier, my pregnancy however rendered me incapacitated. My pelvis fell apart by 6 months I put on another 6 and a half stone and when she was on her way out my pelvis gave away completely. I did instantly get the rush of love and everything they tell you but I still had the epidural, I had done it before and I knew I wouldn’t be able to neglect her. I was horrifically depressed again for the first year, could barely get up in the morning and often just couldn’t.

    I am perfectly back to normal now, even after a horrific couple of years and the kids are amazing.

    I hate being pregnant, I hate giving birth, I hate my utterly insane hormones taking over my body and my brain trying to shut down! I hate having to get physically turned over in bed and have my arse wiped! I hate my body morphing into a fluidy useless mass of vileness, seepages, burstings, itches, swelling!?!

    My son is now eight and my daughter has just turned three they are so happy and loving. I wish someone had explained to me the first time around the reality. Being a teenager I felt I wasn’t allowed to enjoy it anyway but a more terrifying thing I have not experienced. With my little girl I was allowed to enjoy it but I didn’t. There is no shame in it, your body is not your own!

    Hope it gets easier! xx

  6. Natalie says:

    The only thing I am thankfull for is that I am better at child rearing than I ever was at being pregnant or that hideous thing they call birth.

  7. Hahaha or the damage that you do to your bits pushing them out

    Or the fact it feels like an alien is trying to rip itself out of your body

    Or the fact that a fast labour is horrid and not ‘easy’

  8. How could I have forgotten the piles?!

    Or the indignity of leaking wee every time I cough?

    Thanks so much for all of your comments so far. It’s good to know I’m not alone. x

  9. Lucy says:

    Nobody warns you about how foul pregnancy discharge is. NOBODY. Soggy knickers doesn’t = blooming in my book.

    What about how pregnancy is a series of milestones which you make, and then there’s another worse one over the hill to look forward to (but not look forward to iyswim)?

    Or how lonely pregnancy is?

    OR spd. There aren’t the hours left in the burning of the sun to moan about that one. And nobody talks about it. And being on crutches with a massive belly having to wee standing up in the garden because you can’t sit down. Bleugh.

    Or, and this really is a crucial one and what my blog touches on a lot – antenatal depression. So many women suffer from it, nobody talks about it. Ever.

    I fracking hated being pregnant. I appreciate (really I do) my tremendous luck and good fortune with my perfectly amazing life changing fascinating loving beautiful boys. But I really hated the state of upduffedness.

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