I coined this expression with regards to the much more well-known red and white striped restaurant a few weeks back. I went with the Long-Suffering Husband as it is one of his favourite “Porn Food” locations (Porn food, for those who do not know, is food that makes you feed a little seedy and dirty, but for some reason it hits a spot that other, probably healthier, food cannot reach). Whenever we go, I sort of resign myself to needing a bathroom within 30 minutes. For some reason, no matter what I eat there, within 30 minutes I am in uncomfortable need of a bathroom, and (warning, it’s about to get graphic) can easily shit through the eye of a needle.
Today we didn’t go to TMI Friday’s, but retaining the TMI and Friday aspects of this blog title, I have another TMI problem. I can no longer tell when I need a bowel movement. I have to go to the loo and sit there and consciously relax all of the right muscles and see whether anything happens. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes it happens 2-3 times in a day and then not for a few. It’s horrible. Is there anything at all that this baby hasn’t taken control of?!
She’s got her own bottom shoved up under my ribs on the right hand side. Very uncomfortable. I think very uncomfortable sums up just about everything at the moment.
I can only sleep until about 4am until I need to turn over in bed because my hips feel like I’ve been kicked by a horse. Turning over is a hell of a fuss – first of all any movement makes me emit noises of stifled sobs. I have to roll onto my hands and knees and turn over that way as rolling over on my back hurts my back too much. And then I have to rearrange the bolster cushion to make sure it’s between my legs, and then make sure the duvet is over me, and that the wedge cushion is under my bump. And then it’s only about 40 minutes before I wake up in pain again and have to repeat the process until 8am when, still emitting sobbing noise, I give up.
Thank God I have an osteopath’s appointment booked for Wednesday.
I spent Wednesday in glorious tranquil Bath Thermae Spa. I can highly recommend floating around in warm water in a state of neutral buoyancy, with one’s husband, enjoying a few hours without children (apart from the one smuggled in under my swimming costume). We brought our wedding anniversary forward by 2 weeks as there’s something else supposed to be happening in July. Apparently. The only problem about being relaxed and almost weightless is that you feel like you weigh about 90 billion tons more when you get out. Sob.
Scan and consultant’s appointment on Thursday 30th. Until then it’s watch this space, I guess.